by Marjolaine Tremblay
Date: February 6th
Location: Clark x St. Urbain
*translated from messy Montreal franglais*
Tremblay: Hey there!
Tremblay: Hi. I just wanted to say hello.
Guy: What? What’s wrong?
Tremblay: No, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to say hello. Are you alright?
Guy: Huh? *unintelligible grumbles and groans*
Tremblay: I didn’t mean to bother you, I just noticed your tarp and was wondering if you’re alright. This isn’t really a place where people normally sit.
Guy: *slightly louder unintelligible grumbles and groans*
Tremblay: I didn’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to ask you a few questions.
Guy: Who are you? I don’t know you.
Tremblay: I’m Marjolaine. I just wanted to talk.
Guy: You’re a cop.
Tremblay: No… I am not… Why do you say that? Why would I be a cop?
Guy: You look like a cop.
Tremblay: What do cops look like?
Guy: I don’t even care if you are anyway. Shit. I didn’t even do anything. Did they send you?
Tremblay: Who’s “they”?
Guy: The people at the church. Those whores! Ahahaha. Funny, right? Hypocrites! Saints to my dick. They don’t even tell the truth about themselves.
Tremblay: Sorry, what? Is the church a shelter?
Guy: I know you know them. You are them. Chalice!
Tremblay: I’m not them. I’m not a cop, and I don’t work for the church. I would have a gun and uniform if I were a cop, right? And you would probably have seen me before if I worked at this church you’re talking about.
Guy: Why don’t I call the cops and ask them?
Tremblay: Ummm… go ahead.
Guy: I don’t have a phone.
Tremblay: Do you really want to call the police?
Guy: No… They would probably just try to fuck with me anyway… Like you’re doing.
Tremblay: I’m not here to fuck with you, I just wanted to see if you were alright. It’s winter.
Do you have anything to eat?
Guy: *moves tarp to reveal a half-eaten container of Timbits*
Tremblay: That isn’t very substantial… Is this your lunch?
Guy: No, I’m actually using them to wipe my ass. No, obviously it’s my lunch. What are you, my fucking mom? Yes, ahah, clearly, it’s lunch.
Tremblay: I’m sorry. How often do you eat Timbits?
Guy: Most days. They’re actually very cheap, and sometimes the people give you extra if you ask them to.
Tremblay: Which ones are your favourite?
Guy: *grabs a chocolate-glazed Timbit and presents it*
Tremblay: Oh, no, thank you. I can’t.
Guy: These ones are really good.
Tremblay: I’m a celiac.
Tremblay: It means I can’t eat gluten. It means I can’t eat Timbits. But I believe you that they’re good.
Guy: Ahh, a diet.
Tremblay: Well, the condition changes your diet, but it isn’t really the same thing as dieting.
Guy: You’re skinny already. You shouldn’t diet. Actually, you could maybe even gain weight.
Tremblay: I’m wearing a down-filled parka…
Guy: Yes, but I can tell.
Tremblay: Do you have anywhere else that you get food from?
Guy: The church sometimes.
Tremblay: On Av du Parc?
Guy: Yeah, but they are difficult, and it takes too long. Also I go to the other Tim Hortons sometimes.
They have other stuff besides Timbits.
Tremblay: True. Well if you’re getting dinner later, maybe this will help *gives guy $10 bill*
Guy: Ahh, it will, it will. Thank you. This is good. You are good.
Tremblay: You’re welcome. It isn’t a big deal. Maybe get your Tims to stay… It’s too cold out here…
Guy: It really isn’t that bad. It’s actually warm, I think.
Also there are a bunch of weird homeless people in the Tims, so it’s better to eat outside.