by Adriana Delgado Flores
Time: December 17th, 19:34
Location: Mont-Royal Metro Station
*translated from messy Montreal franglais*
Guy: Change, madame?
Banter: Actually, I do have a few coins. *presents $5.00*
Guy: Ahh, thank you, god bless you.
Banter: Grab yourself a hot drink—need something to keep you warm this time of year.
Guy: Yes, yes, thank you very much, madam.
Banter: Are you more of a coffee guy, or more of a tea guy?
Banter: Do you like coffee more, or do you prefer tea?
Guy: What? Why? Why are you asking me that?
Banter: Just making conversation. I think the train is still a few minutes away. You’re not busy, are you?
Guy: No, it’s okay. It’s just a strange thing to ask, Me, I prefer coffee, but sometimes I prefer it a little extra hot… like you… If you don’t mind me saying that.
Banter: Yeah, you definitely want to make sure that it’s hot.
Guy: But, extra hot—you know?
Guy: Extra hot. Adding stuff to make it extra hot.
Banter: Oh, like adding alcohol.
Guy: Well, yes. That's what I mean.
Banter: Uhh…. Yeah, I suppose that’s true. Sometimes you need a little extra kick.
Guy: But not always. Just during the Holidays, of course.
Banter: Of course… You know, it’s funny that you’re so forthcoming about that. A lot of people in your position would lie and say that they don’t drink.
Guy: What do you mean?
Banter: A lot of people in my position would have reservations about giving money to someone in your position because you might spend it on alcohol.
Guy: Well a lot of people aren’t in my position. Also, you already gave me the money, and you don’t look stupid. Why lie to you?
Banter: I would say I’m average, and the average person is pretty stupid—or at least, pretty gullible.
Guy: Gullible, maybe… But also…
Guy: Willing to give.
Banter: Right. Do you think it has anything to do with season? That is, do you find that people give more around Christmas?
Guy: Yes, but things are not necessarily easier just because it is near Christmas. On the one hand, I do think that people give more, but it is also much harder to be outside because of the cold, so time passes a lot slower.
Banter: How long are you normally out here?
Guy: All day.
Guy: Except for when I’m somewhere else, obviously.
Banter: Busy schedule?
Guy: I have shit to do, okay? Why are you asking me all of these questions? You sound like my whore dog of a wife… Ex-wife, I mean.
Banter: I think the “ex” prefix can be inferred when such colourful descriptors are attached.
Guy: What the fuck are you saying?
Banter: That’s just a very aggressive way of wording things.
Guy: Well, if you knew her, you would know what I am talking about. She can get hit by a train for all I care. Bitch! Those tracks right there, you see? Smack!
Banter: I’m sorry, sir. Merry Christmas.
Guy: Merry Fucking Christmas.