by Hugo Terrible 


Simply walk around any college campus in North America and on the public announcement boards of the more woke-left social justice-y departments you’ll invariably find calls to support the practice of BDS. I don’t know exactly what happened to the ‘M,’ but advocating for universities to support bondage, dominance, and submission kinks in their educational environments seems needless. Even for ultra-progessive Canadian society these rallying cries sound beleaguered. In one part of my brain I seem to remember Pierre Elliott Trudeau saying that there “is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.” Well that’s true, but I think a tangential aphorism should likewise apply: “there is no public place on campus for subs and doms.”


Rallies, sit-ins, and other protests, the BDS movement plays every card in an attempt to protect and promote its rights as a fetish community.

"Again, I feel the burden of clarification sitting on my shoulder; I could not possibly care less about what consenting adults do in their dungeons."

The part I don’t understand, is why anyone needs to use the dignified public forum of the academy to flex their activism. What’s more, any comparison between the modern day persecution of tepid sexual deviants and apartheid South Africa is plainly absurd. Mentioning the fact that you like being collared and swatted in a soundproof room on the weekends is likely to earn you a bit of light ribbing at a dinner party. However, reveal at the exact same soirée that you cannot participate in certain aspects of society because a white Afrikaner minority is holding your country hostage in order to preserve a racist caste system and jaws ought to drop. The two scenarios simply are not the same. 


And, since when has the unfurled banner for curious sexual subcultures looked so eerily similar to that of the Palestinian state? I’m confused, and I know I’m not alone. If you like being strapped into a creepy, gothic sex swing and intertwined with shiny leather straps, all while being pissed on and taunted by some smutty creep in an executioner’s mask, that’s fine. Keep it to yourself. You don’t need to advertise it to the world with through a brash postering campaign.


Also, what could hummus possibly have to do with your sex life? What the fuck am I missing?